her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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