dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
