the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
