just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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