try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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