i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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