She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
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Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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