My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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