some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
