too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
