i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
