Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
