I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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