My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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