now i know why i became what i already was.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
