we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize