Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
