you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize