the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
