Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
