just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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