Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the liver wants what the liver wants
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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