my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
