After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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