There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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