You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
