OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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