I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
