It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
