I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
