Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
