Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
