It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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