Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
