I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
