help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
