Buhtt sex?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
