I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
