Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
