With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
