some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
