ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
