Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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