Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
