He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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