so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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