I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
