Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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