well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
