Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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