what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
