i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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