i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
