I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
