I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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